Watching for Comets
by RabidFangirl03
Summary: Sam finally decides to watch Gabriel's video all the way through. What he sees is nothing he ever could've expected.
1. Casa Erotica 13

**I'm not really sure what this is. I was just re-watching Hammer of the Gods and I remembered Gabriel's video and I thought: "What if . . ." and my mind got to work. Hope you like it.**

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Sam didn't know why he was doing this. Perhaps it was curiosity, maybe it was something else. At this point, he didn't really care. All he knew was he was gonna do it. He was gonna watch Gabriel's video all the way through.

After going through the important stuff the first time, Dean had thrown the video somewhere in the trunk and neither of them mentioned it again. A few days ago, Sam had found it while sorting through the weapons. It had been a couple years, and he'd all but forgotten about it, writing it off as just another piece of information.

Not entirely sure what to do with it, he'd taken it out of the trunk and put it in his bag. He wasn't sure why he didn't throw it away. Maybe because it felt almost wrong considering Gabriel's sacrifice. No matter the reason, he kept it.

It took a few more days for him to think about it again. It was a fleeting thought, nothing more than a vague curiosity as to what happened after they'd stopped watching the first time. It surprised him. Sure, he'd had a crush on the Trickster before they figured out who he was the first time they met. And maybe those feelings hadn't necessarily gone away, even after the Mystery Spot incident. In fact, he'd forgotten about it after the Apocalypse.

He shuddered. Spending hundreds of years in the Cage with two pissed Archangels could do that to someone.

Nevertheless, he'd decided he wanted to watch it all the way through. Maybe there was something at the end. After the sex and stuff.

Steeling himself, he takes the disc out and puts it in the port in his laptop. The video pops up and he starts watching.

Sam chuckles when the stereotypical cheesy porno music starts. Somehow, it seemed just like Gabriel to give them information this way. Though it hadn't been very funny at the time.

Disclaimer text scrolls down the red screen before fading to words proclaiming: "CASA EROTICA 13" and a woman in her bra and panties lying on a bed.

A voiceover of the woman plays before the door opens and Gabriel appears. From there, he goes into his explanation of the Cage and the Horsemen's rings. After that he turns to the girl and they collapse on the bed, kissing and divesting their clothes.

Sam shifts in his seat, feeling mildly uncomfortable. It wasn't like he never watched porn before—no matter what his brother might think—it was just weird to watch someone he kinda knew, someone he had a crush on in a cheesy porno. Complete with cheesy music and awkward camera angles. It wasn't the best compared to others he'd seen before, but it wasn't horrible either.

Nearing the end, he prepared to close out of it, deciding that there wasn't anything extra, when the scene changed. Instead of the place from before, it was a familiar looking hotel room that had Gabriel sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at the floor.

"Hi, Sam," Gabriel says quietly.

Sam noticed he only said his name, omitting Dean from the equation this time.

"I'm not sure why I'm doing this." Gabriel chuckles. "In fact, I'm not even sure if you're gonna watch this all the way through. I guess I just need to get it off my chest. Y'know, before I die and all."

It was then Sam recognized the room. It'd been years, but Gabriel was in one of the rooms from the Elysian Hotel. Which meant this was right before he rescued them from the other gods and Lucifer.

"But, it's no use dwelling on the future. So, here goes." He takes a deep breath and looks up at the camera. "Samuel Winchester . . . I . . . I love you."

Sam's breath catches in his throat. _What_?! Gabriel . . . loved him?

"Hey now, no need to look so surprised. I know you probably get stuff like this pretty often, but I mean it. I love you."

Sam stares at the screed, dumbfounded. He couldn't seem to get his brain working right now.

"I'm not entirely sure when it started. Maybe it was when we first met, maybe it was after you caught up with me six months after Mystery Spot and begged me to bring Dean back. Maybe it was when I threw you two in T.V. land, who knows. It just . . . happened."

Sam knew when it first happened for him. The first time they'd met. Clichè as it sounded, there'd been . . . something. At least on his side. After Dean "killed" Gabriel the first time, he forgot about it. Then Mystery Spot happened. Afterwards, he'd been pissed. But, he forgot about it eventually. Not entirely, mind you, but he eventually forgave Gabriel. Enough so that the next time he showed up, Sam was willing to work with him. Not that it ended particularly well.

"Anyways, that's it. That's the whole reason for this little end-credit sequence." Gabriel chuckles. "Although, I have yet to play those yet. Right now, I can do nothing but hope you don't have any bad feelings for what I did to you before. And that you can forgive me for what I'm about to do."

Sam glances away. At this point, he wasn't sure how he felt. Sure, he'd long since accepted his little crush on Gabriel, but this was . . . something else entirely. Knowing Gabriel felt the same way was a trip and a half.

"It's right about this point that you'll be feeling pretty freaked out. Something like, 'why does he love me' or maybe, 'why me' knowing your self-deprecating Winchester-ness. I guess that's another reason for this. To explain why."

Sam furrows his eyebrows in confusion. He still didn't get this, but a reason would be nice.

"Like I said before, you're probably wondering, 'why me'. The Boy with the Demon Blood, the Morningstar's Vessel."

Sam flinches at the words. It turns out time doesn't heal all wounds.

"Thing is, Sam, that's not you. You've had this dark destiny since you were first thought of. But what do you do? You fight it. You rebel against something that was considered a certainty. They expected you to give in, to become their Boy King. But you didn't. You fought. It's what you chose to be, not what you were destined for."

Sam blinks back tears. He'd always struggled with that. Believing it wasn't his fault,. That he didn't start the Apocalypse and almost destroy everything. That he wasn't an abomination. That he wasn't weak for wanting the power of Demon blood. That Dean didn't despise and distrust him.

"Sam . . . I don't know how to explain it. I don't know how to best explain the way I feel." Gabriel chuckles and rubs the back of his head sheepishly. "I probably sound like some girl with her first crush, don't I? It's just . . . I've never had to do this before. You're the first person I . . ." He trails off, looking down at his feet. "I care about."

Sam looks away. He still didn't get it. Why Gabriel had feelings for him. Despite what he said earlier, Sam still broke everything he touched. He still did bad things. He wasn't deserving of the love of an Archangel.

"Man, I wish I had the guts to do this in person. Instead, I take the cowards way out. A little snippet at the very end of a video you might not even watch where you'll never see it." He huffs a laugh. "But, that's just me. I'm a coward. I run and run and run, hoping it'll save me. Not that it ever does."

Sam could sympathize with Gabriel there. It was what he did too. He ran from the hunting life, just to get drawn back in. He ran from his destiny, horrible as it was. He ran from Dean, who was only trying to help. Maybe he and Gabriel had more in common than he thought.

"Maybe if I survive this, I'll get the courage. Unlikely, but I suppose, possible. I could only imagine how you'd react. Hell, I don't even know if you like guys. Even though I'm technically not one. Archangel, remember."

Sam wasn't sure what to think about that. Of course Gabriel hadn't known. Dean didn't even know and he and Sam lived in each others pockets. He kept the fact that he liked guys _and_ girls tightly under wraps. Not that he ever really had a chance with either considering the life they lived. Unlike his brother, Sam couldn't do one night stands. He needed a connection. Something he never had a shot at.

"Well, I guess this has gone on long enough. It's not like it matters anyways considering I'm gonna be dead soon and you probably don't feel the same way. Main point is, I love you Sam Winchester. Have for a few years now. Not sure when or how, but I do. Take away what you will but . . ." He trails off and fiddles with his hands. "just know you're worth it, Sam."

The screen cuts to black and the credits start playing. Sam x-es out of the window and closes his laptop. He sits in the bed for a few minutes, unsure of what to think.

He hears the Impala pull up outside and Dean walks in.

"Hey, what's up" Dean asks, seeing the blank look on his brother's face.

Sam shakes his head and says, "Nothing. You have fun?"

Dean grins. "Oh, yeah. You should've seen her, Sammy. Maybe you should come with me next time and we can find you a nice guy. Replace that stick up your ass with something more fun.

Sam chuckles. "Yeah. Maybe next time, jerk." He'd learned long ago to just ignore Dean's mildly homophobic jokes. It was mostly just his way to maintain his carefully crafted "Alpha Male" personality. This is also why he didn't mention the absence of perfume on his brother, or the fact that there was a slight hitch in his step. It's just how things worked.

"I'm holding you to that, bitch," Dean says as he walks into the bathroom, starting the shower.

Sam sighs and looks at his laptop. He still didn't know what to think. Gabriel had feelings for him. Sam had . . . something for Gabriel. But he was dead. And there was no way he was coming back. Unless . . .

"Hey, Gabe," Sam says, closing his eyes and clasping his hands. "I'm not sure if this is gonna work, or if you're even . . . alive, or anything. But . . . I watched the video. Y'know, the one you gave Dean at the Elysian Hotel. I saw your message. At the end. I'm doing this to tell you . . . I feel the same way. I have since that college years ago. I did forgive you for the Mystery Spot, and that shit you pulled with T.V. land. Just . . . if you're out there, give me a sign. Something. Anything."

He glances around the room, hoping for something to happen. After a minute of nothing, Sam unclasps his hands and blinks back tears. As far fetched as it was, he'd still hoped that Gabriel was alive. That he'd faked his death again. Deciding nothing was going to happen, Sam plugged his laptop in and turned off the lamp, crawling under the covers and trying to sleep, pointedly ignoring the tears pricking his eyes and the disappointment he felt.

 **. . .**

Up in Heaven, Gabriel heard Sam's prayer. He wanted to answer. Oh, by his Father he wanted to answer. But he didn't. He couldn't. He was in hiding, and not even Sam confessing everything would draw him out. Not with what was going on right now. Maybe some other time. When Heaven wasn't in complete turmoil and the other Angels wouldn't try and make him their leader. That just wasn't his role.

Ignoring the feeling that it might never happen, Gabriel spreads his wings and flies to a different Heaven.

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 **So, thoughts? I'm not really sure about this one, but let me know if you liked it.**


	2. Secrets and Prayers

**I'm done! Sorry it took so long to get this up, but I actually wasn't gonna continue this. That is, until I was scrolling through Tumblr and had an epiphany. I wrote this instead of working on the new chapter for Never Surrender and have absolutely no regrets. Hope you like it.**

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After Sam watched the video, he started to pray a lot more. Not to God or Cas or anyone else like that. No, he prayed to someone else.

Gabriel. The Archangel-turned-Trickster that haunted his mind.

He never expected anything from it. Gabriel was dead, and Sam knew that. However, two or three times a week, it was nice to pretend he wasn't. That he was just away.

So, Sam would update him on what happened in their lives. How Cas was doing, how Dean was doing, how he was doing.

The prayers always ended the same way. It was cheesy, and Sam knew this.

He did it anyway.

"Hey, Gabe. Sam here. Again. Sorry it's been a while, me 'nd Dean were wrapping up a hunt. It was a nest of vampires terrorizing some small town. We took care of it. Cas helped, too. Smote some of them." Sam chuckles. "They're back at it again, y'know. The whole staring thing. I actually got myself a separate room this time. Cas was confused, but Dean was pissed. I wish they'd just get over themselves and screw each other silly." He pauses.

"I'm doin' pretty good. My nightmares haven't been bothering me as much as they did." Secretly, Sam hoped this was a sign Gabriel was back and keeping them at bay, but he knew it wasn't. "I wish you were here. We could complain about our brothers together." Sam huffs a laugh. "That's all, I guess. With love, Sam Winchester."

Sighing sadly, he gets up from his kneeling position and crashes on the bed, closing his eyes and letting sleep overtake him.

 **. . .**

Gabriel heard all of Sam's prayers. It took a special kind of strength to keep himself from flying down there and telling Sam that he was alive. That he felt the same way.

But he didn't.

Until one day, when he just couldn't hold himself back anymore.

 **. . .**

Gabriel was certain Sam was asleep. This is the only reason he dare go down to the motel room he was staying in.

The younger Winchester was lying on his stomach, arms around his pillow.

Gabriel wanted to be that pillow.

It hurt, staying away from Sam. Saying nothing. So now . . . he was going to say something.

"Hey, Sammy," he says quietly. "It's me, Gabriel. The not-so-dead Archangel that's been practically stalking you these past few years." He huffs a laugh. "Don't worry, I didn't see anything I shouldn't." He pauses, drawing in a deep breath. "This kills me, kiddo. Seeing you so hung up on me." He chuckles ruefully. "Not that I'm any better."

He lets out a sigh. "I wish I could talk to you. Face-to-face. Not like this. In the dark while you're asleep. Where you won't hear. But, I suppose that's my lot. To want for what I can never have." He takes in a deep breath. "I get your prayers, y'know. All of them. It breaks my heart to listen and do nothing. But I'm grateful you keep me updated. I can't pay attention to your lives 24/7, so it's nice to get my very own Winchester Channel."

Gabriel glances down. "I wish I could do more. Help you with more than just your nightmares. Sam . . . you're the best person I know. You deserve more than what you have." He lets out a sigh. "And I wish I could give that to you."

He takes one last look at Sam before disappearing with the sound of wings unfurling.

 **. . .**

Sam lets out a breath when he hears Gabriel disappear. He'd woken up when he first heard the sound of wings, figuring Cas had flown in. Until he heard Gabriel speak.

He was alive.

Gabriel was alive.

He was alive and he knew about Sam's prayers. He also just confessed everything.

Sam was stunned. His brain couldn't seem to get itself working.

He briefly debated paying for Gabriel to get down to him, but hesitated. What if he was misinterpreting everything? What if this was Gabriel saying goodbye? What if, what if . . .

Sam shakes his head trying to get rid of the thoughts.

Maybe this would be easier in the morning, after he had time to process everything.

Shoving back all his thoughts, he closes his eyes and drifts of to sleep.

 **. . .**

When Sam woke up the next morning, there was a feather on his bedside table. It was about ten inches long and all white except for the gold tip and the red stripe fringed with grey that ran along the golden shaft.

Sam knew who it was from. Gabriel must have left it after Sam fell asleep.

Gingerly, he picks it up.

It was beautiful. Easily the most amazing thing he'd ever seen.

He looks at it for a few more minutes, taking in every detail, until there's a knock on his door and Dean telling him to: "Get your stuff packed, bitch! We're leavin' in ten!"

Sam replies with, "Fine, jerk. Be out soon."

Most of his stuff was packed already, so he didn't need to worry.

He glances down at the feather. There was probably a spot in his duffel he could put it.

Getting off the bed, he grabs his bag and starts looking for somewhere it could go.

Eventually, he finds a small zipper pocket along the inside. Deciding it was safe, he unzips it and gingerly puts the feather in.

After that, he gathered his stuff and went out to where Dean was, ready to move onto the next town.

 **. . .**

Over the next few weeks, Sam became ornery. Dean and Castiel noticed and were getting tired of it.

The mood had started with little things, him snapping at them occasionally and the fights between them being worse than normal.

But it escalated.

Soon he was just plain ignoring them, brushing off any attempt to approach him.

Dean and Castiel let it slide, hoping it would all blow over.

They were sorely mistaken.

 **. . .**

When Sam first found out Gabriel was alive, he was ecstatic.

He had a chance—a real chance. Not just some fake thing he made up in his head.

Sam still prayed, dropping hints and making clear his wish for Gabriel to be with there with him.

He got nothing.

It was beginning to grate on his nerves.

So, he upped his game. Made his prayers more elaborate, dropped more hints, and on one memorable occasion, sent the dirtiest prayer he was sure anyone had ever sent.

None of it worked.

He was getting more and more frustrated, almost ready to give up.

Then, he decided that he'd have to stop beating around the bush. If he wanted an answer, he'd have to force it.

 **. . .**

Sam takes in a deep breath. He was going to do this. He was going to tell Gabriel he knew he was alive.

Taking in another deep breath, he begins his prayer.

"O Blessed Archangel Gabriel, I beseech thee. Do thou come out of hiding to see me, who hath been waiting weeks for thine return. That as thou didst announce to the Winchesters about the rings of Horsemen and Cage of Lucifer, so through thy prayers and patronage from your loyal Sam that he may obtain the benefits of thine presence and sing the praise of thee in the land of Earth. Amen."

He waited a few seconds, not daring to breathe.

"Really, Samsquatch?" he hears from behind him. "This is the best you got?"

Sam whirls around and sees Gabriel lazily reclining on the couch. His eyes widen and he freezes.

Gabriel raises an eyebrow. "Jeez, Sammy. Knew I was impressive, but no need to stand there with your mouth hangin' open like that. 'S not very becoming of a lady," he says with a wink.

Sam closes his jaw and shuts his eyes for a few seconds before opening them again.

Gabriel notices him pressing against a scar on his left palm.

"You're . . ." Sam trails off, sounding incredulous. "You're alive, it's really you."

"Yep, the one and only. So, how'd you know. I've been doin' a pretty good job of stayin' under the radar."

"You, uh . . . you visited me a few weeks ago. Left me this," he says, taking out the feather.

Gabriel's eyes widen fractionally. "Oh," he says in a tone of faked nonchalance. "That. I didn't know you kept it.'

" 'Course I did. What else was I supposed to do?"

Gabriel shrugs. "Dunno. Left it on impulse, expected you to toss it out or something."

Sam noticed the look in Gabriel's eyes. It was . . . thankfulness, hope.

"Anyway, why'd you call me down?"

Sam clears his throat and looks away, flushing slightly and putting the feather back on the table. Why hadn't he thought this through?

"You gonna answer me, Samshine?"

"Yeah, sorry," he says quickly. "I, uh . . . wanted to . . . uh . . . s-say I . . ."

"C'mon, spit it out."

Sam takes a deep breath and looks away. "I love you, Gabe," he says quietly.

Gabriel's eyes widen. "Oh." He clears his throat and gets up from the couch, slowly walking up to Sam. "I, uh . . ." He trails off, licking his lips and stepping close to Sam. "What if I felt the same way?" he asks, looking up at Sam, a glimmer of fear in his eyes.

Sam's breath catches in his throat. He can feel Gabriel's breath hot against his lips, their faces inches away from each other.

"Could I . . . kiss you?" Gabriel asks, a smirk tugging on the corner of his lips.

"Yes," Sam breathes, anticipation coursing through his body.

Gabriel surges forward and captures his lips in a heated kiss, moving forward and sliding his hands around Sam's hips. Sam lets out a low moan as Gabriel runs his tongue along his lips, asking for entrance. He parts his lips and grants it, groaning when Gabriel's tongue enters his mouth.

Gabriel starts to move them over to the bed, but Sam stops him.

"Wait, Gabe," he breathes, pulling back slightly. "Not tonight, okay."

There's a glimmer of confusion in Gabriel's eyes, but he nods anyway. "Sure thing, Sammich." He pauses, pulling closer. "Can we, uh . . . keep kissing?" he asks hopefully.

Sam lets out a low chuckle and leans down, pressing his lips against Gabriel's. "We can move this to the bed, but only if you promise no funny business."

Gabriel pouts. "Aw, fine. Only for you Sam-a-lam," he says, pushing Sam down and crawling on top of him. "Guess I can go one more night." He grins and starts kissing Sam again.

 **. . .**

The next morning was peaceful. Gabriel was curled up against Sam's chest, breathing softly as he slept.

Or, well, did whatever Angels did instead of sleeping.

Sam was still reeling from last night. It just felt so . . . surreal.

He feels Gabriel shift beside him and glances down, seeing the Archangel open his eyes sleepily.

Gabriel grins. "Mornin' Sasquatch."

"Morning, Gabe," Sam replies. "You gonna stop calling me by those ridiculous nicknames?"

Gabriel shakes his head. "Nope. I've had years to come up with them, no way I'm parting now."

Sam rolls his eyes. "Fine."

"Knew you wouldn't mind," Gabriel says, pressing a kiss against his lips.

"I never said that. I just know there's no stopping you."

"You got that one right, Sammy," he says, kissing him again.

"Gabe, it's like," Sam glances at the clock, "seven in the morning."

"So?"

"So, it's too early. Just relax."

Gabriel pouts. "Like your brother always says, 'it's six o'clock somewhere'."

"No, don't talk about my brother. Not now." He pauses, a thought flashing through his mind. "Shit."

"What?"

"Dean's gonna have a fit when he finds out."

Gabriel shrugs. "We'll take it as it comes. Besides, with his and Cassy's love affair, I doubt he'll be too upset."

"I'm sorry, have you met my brother?"

"Yeah, he killed me. Don't think I'ma forget that anytime soon."

"Exactly. Let's just . . . keep this a secret for now. For my sake."

Gabriel pouts. "I don't fancy being your dirty little secret, Sam. But, if you _reeeally_ wanna, fine. Can I at least come out of hiding? I've been meaning to catch up with Cassy."

"Yeah, you can tag along with us. It might actually soften the blow."

"Great," Gabriel says with a grin. "So, uh, what were you saying about it bein' too early?"

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 **So, thoughts? It's always nice to get feedback.**

 **For those of you who don't know, the prayer Sam says is a parody of a Catholic prayer called, 'Prayer to St. Gabriel, for Intercession'.**


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